I generally try to be positive & cheerful (yes I am a big believer of The Secret & Law of Attraction)… but some days I just get a bit gloomy.
He always helps me to see the silver lining, on days when I need a little perk-me-up.
I had the most exhausting week, as I’d just shifted into my new place. My entire body is aching, my hands are painfully dry from all the repeated washing.
Yesterday the bf helped me to move + stack all of my (super heavy!) plastic Ikea cartons into the study, and hauled all of the empty cardboard cartons (30 of them!) out of the house.
Woke up this morning to find him cleaning up Cookie’s poop (which Cookie had stepped all over the kitchen. IKR. 💩💩💩💩)
He told me to go back to sleep, he’ll take care of it.
Some 10 minutes later, he popped back into the bedroom with hot hojicha for me,and he held the mug for me to drink cos it was hot.
It is such a simple gesture, so simple that anyone can do it really, but nobody has ever done it- until now.
When he sees me sitting with my laptop to reply emails, he comes over to massage my shoulders/ upper back because he knows I have chronic pain in that area.
When we are watching shows in bed together, he will massage my legs, almost in auto pilot mode. He’s constantly making effort to make me happier and more comfortable, even when he’s tired.
And this is why I chose him, over all the others. He’s unlike no other.
Some men think they need to drive a flashy car or have deep pockets to impress women.
But many women, like myself, just want to be loved and pampered, in ways that money cannot buy.
I wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world. Not for all the tea in China.
A reminder to self. Now and always.
“I had a habit of making excuses for people, I would think of all kinds of scenarios to explain their odd or flaky behavior or believe my own lies instead of getting disappointed.
But I’ve come to realize that the more excuses you make for people, the more you get hurt. The more you lie to yourself, the more they will lie to you.
So I learned to stop.
I stopped decoding mixed messages and reading between the lines because people who care about you enough will always send you messages you don’t need to analyze or question.
I stopped tolerating people who say too much and do too little and I learned to let their actions speak instead.
I stopped making exceptions for people who don’t make exceptions for me.
I stopped going out of my way for people who only want me when it’s convenient for them.
I stopped being there for people who weren’t there when I needed them.
I stopped reaching out to those who only respond when they feel like it.
I stopped thinking that people respond to kindness with kindness — some people respond to kindness with selfishness.
I stopped thinking that people can be super busy and don’t have a minute to type a few words. It’s all about priorities.
I stopped believing drunk words that lose their meaning when the sun comes up.
I stopped being too understanding and started being rational.
I stopped complicating my life and started simplifying it.
Those who care, will find ways to be there and those who don’t will find ways to run away. It’s as simple as that.
Those who love you, will show you, will tell you. Those who don’t will always love you only when they need your love and then forget you when they get it.
Those who want you in their lives, will make an effort, will stay in touch, will remember occasions and birthdays and milestones and will not go months without asking about you. Those who don’t will always be stuck in the grey area between strangers and friends or friends and lovers.
I stopped seeing people in shades of grey.
People are either black or white. They’re either with you or against you. They either love you or they don’t. They either care about you or they don’t give a shit. They either make excuses not to be in your life or find reasons to be in it. “
This ring is very special to me.
Because it symbolizes a commitment and love to MYSELF. It’s a promise to myself that regardless of whatever happens in my life, I will eat well, I will sleep well, I will pamper myself, I will treat myself like a goddamned QUEEN.
In 2009, I starved myself for two weeks because my boyfriend left me. I ended up in TTSH A&E because I had passed out at home & my room mate found me on the floor.
Dumbest shit I’ve ever done in my life. The fucker probably never even missed one single meal.
I starved myself for two weeks, lost 6 kg and my boobs. AND FOR WHAT??
I can’t blame him though. On hindsight, all that crap wouldn’t have happened if I had only loved myself. I wouldn’t have tolerated all his shite. The lame excuses, the weird inconsistencies, the inability to commit & acknowledge our relationship. (Couldn’t even add me on Facebook because he “wasn’t ready”). Hilarious!
A whole year after he dumped me, I found out he was in fact married.
(He had a picture in his Friendster where he was wearing a suit and a boutonniere. He told me it was his sister’s wedding. It wasn’t. It was his wedding. He cropped out his wife. Lovely.)
He typed a confession letter and shoved it under my door. I came home one night and read the contents out loud to my then best friend, laughing hysterically & crying at the same time. Didn’t even know that was physically possible. I will never forget how I felt that night, for as long as I live.
Why practise shite like MMA, grapple men stronger & bigger than you, when you don’t even have fucking balls to apologize to a girl whose youth & prime years you shamelessly cheated?
I want to share my story in the hopes that some poor girl out there who may find herself in the same plight as I was- will dry her tears, stand up straight, hold her head up and realize that she DOES NOT need a man to love her.
Because she is fully capable of loving herself.
There is something called law of attraction. When you genuinely love and respect yourself, you’ll attract love & respect from others.
If a man knows he cannot get away with mistreating you in the slightest bit, he will by default treat you well.
If he knows you will leave the moment you’re unhappy, he will go out of his way to make you happy. And if he doesnt care about your happiness, it means he doesnt love you at all, so why waste another second of your precious time with him??
I already have a beautiful shiny ring on my finger. I honestly dont care if I am single for the rest of my life. Single and happy beats married and miserable anyday. I will buy my own HDB flat, get a dog (or 5) and live happily ever after.
I am not a man hater. There ARE some good men around. But I have to say this- MOST men out there are fuckers lah okay? Literally fuckers, because they just want to fuck.
I’m 33 and I’ve dated enough to know *most* men are just trying to get laid. This is the cold hard truth.
I’ve tried various dating platforms like Lunch Actually, Match.com, and apps like Tinder (the worst!) and Coffee Meets Bagel.
I went for one mingling event organized by Lunch Actually. 20 guys and 20 girls. I was there early, and there was this one dude who started chatting me up. About half an hour later, more girls started coming in and there was this pretty lady. He immediately changed his target and went to talk to her for the rest of the evening and completely ignored me. Some weeks later, he texted me out of the blue and asked me out. LOL. Funny guy. He didnt succeed in bonking Hot Girl, so he decided to go for Option B.
The one thing I can never understand about men is they are ALWAYS so fucking obvious with their intentions and yet they think we cannot tell…!!
Well, I did meet up with him just for entertainment. Douche showed up > half an hour late, wearing a ratty old T shirt and jeans, and looking like he needed a shower. He told me he’s still single in his mid 40s because he “has no time” to date anyone seriously. Erm, I think its more like you’re a shallow and CMI piece of shite. He wants to date only pretty hot girls but he cant even take a shower and put on a decent shirt for a first date. Good luck eh buddy.
Out of the twenty men, there was only one who seemed genuinely interested in me. This horribly unattractive, pimply, nerdy looking dude, who could barely even string a sentence together.
He even called up the organizers to ask me for my contact number. He also happened to be “in between jobs”. Isn’t that a nice way of saying “unemployed”??
Unattractive, lack of personality, lack of intellect and NO JOB? No thanks!
That was the first and last event I attended because I felt so stupid PAYING MONEY to meet men of questionable quality. Seriously waste of my time and money wtf.
For Match.com and dating apps, I spent quite a bit of time & effort in my profile, trying to sound intelligent, fun and witty without trying too hard. And yet these men dont even bother to read my profile, because when we do meet up in person, I realize that they dont know a single thing about me.
Do you know how frustrating it is when you’re putting yourself out there, trying to meet someone decent for a committed relationship, and then you realize that so many men are only looking for SEX?
I went out with this guy from CoffeeBagel, and he kept trying to get me to go to his apartment. He chose the venue, a bar in town. Barely two hours into the “date”, he suggested we adjoin to his place for wine.
“My place is just round the corner…”
So??? Why cant we have drinks here? You chose the place, no?
When I turned him down, he told me he was going away to HK the next day for a week. (Uh huh, so??) I insisted on going home because I had a headache. The next day, he texts me that his travel plans have changed and wanted to invite me to his place for dinner, that he would get some groceries and cook dinner for us. Aww how sweet. I turned him down, saying that I cant make it. Few days later, again he tried to get me to go to his place. Finally I lost my patience, told him off and blocked him on Whatsapp. I told him that if he’s that hard up for sex, he should use Tinder.
There was this guy who approached me in the mall and wanted “to be friends”. After only one dinner, he asked to come up to my place because he “wanted to see how my house looks like”. What, you’ve never seen an apartment before??
I said no and he never texted me again. Lol. (Nice try, buddy.)
Singaporean men love to complain about how materialistic, high maintenance and money-minded Singaporean women are. Before you question the integrity of women, maybe ask yourself honestly if your intentions are that pure & innocent?
If you’re only looking for sex, why should women only want love from you?
Unfortunately for the men, we happen to be smarter and much more discerning than some of our Asian counterparts. We live in Singapore. Love aint gonna pay any of our bills. If you want a submissive and meek wife who doesnt want anything from you except your undying love and hard dick, go get a Vietnamese wife. If you pay extra, you can even get a certified virgin! ;)
The best way to discern and tell if a man is genuinely sincere about you, is to withhold the sex. He should not be allowed access into your pants for at least 3-4 months. If he sticks around & is CONSISTENT in his efforts, he’s likely sincere.
Because men who really like you, they are happy just to spend time with you, without doing anything sexual.
This is how we have to take care of ourselves. Because too many men are selfish bastards who only care about their own interests.
How many of you out there have encountered men who complain about using condoms and claim they cannot get it up & can’t come when they wear one? For that tiny extra bit of pleasure on his part, he’s asking YOU to risk unwanted pregnancy and abortion. But why would he care?? He wants to cum inside, more shiok!
I know of many girls who have gotten themselves knocked up and had to go for abortions because the guy did not want to marry them. (How surprising.)
Don’t be that stupid girl sitting alone in the gynae’s office waiting to have the doctor scrape a fetus out of your womb because you thought he loved you.
My dog loves food.
He LOVES food like no tomorrow. Whenever I bring out the treats or chicken wet food, he salivates & hyperventilates with excitement.
A few years ago I organized a BBQ at my old place. Invited some of my friends. I had to go upstairs to take something so I left my dog there.
When I returned, I was told that my dog kept whining & looking at the direction which I walked away. The poor boy couldn’t be consoled. My friends tried to give him some food to placate him.
He refused to eat anything.
Until I came back and he was happy to see me, he ate.
Dogs can’t talk. But they show their undying loyalty through their actions.
Let me tell you something. It hasn’t been easy being his mom. I can no longer rent single bedrooms because of him. No landlord will allow dogs. Believe me I’ve tried. Many times.
No housemate will be okay with a whining dog at 4am on Saturdays when I leave the house for work.
Instead of renting a single bedroom which may cost only $800-$1000, I am paying $2600 upwards / month for a whole apartment.
And yes, it’s because of my dog.
I come home most days to find pee (and sometimes poop) on the floor. I have to clean up before I do anything else regardless of how tired I may be.
But I can’t blame him because he is old and I suspect he has some incontinence. He is also probably blind in one eye.
I’ll be honest and say my life will be easier and I will save a lot of money, if I just give him away.
But I just can’t do it.
This dog loves me so much, he refuses to eat or drink anything when he can’t see me. I know how much he loves food. But he will not take a nibble of whatever you offer him, if I am not there. Even if it’s his favorite chicken, egg or treats.
I always refill his food and water bowls before I go out, and they’re always full when I come back. He doesn’t eat or drink when I’m not around, because he is so afraid I won’t come back.
I will never be able to turn my back away from him and walk away.
If anyone wants to take him away from me, they will have to pry him away from my cold dead hands.
Men talk a lot, but when he’s not with you, he’s exploring opportunities with other women. Lol.
Been there, done that.. Never again.