I posted Red Flags Part 1 two years ago.
Here’s Part 2.
He asks you out for coffee. For the first date.
If a man is genuinely interested in you and wants to ask you out, he will ask you out to dinner. And if he drives, he’s gonna come pick you up. No excuses.
It is NOT your job to make it easy or convenient for him to date you. Girls always tend to be too nice and too considerate.
If somebody asks you out for coffee, (and he’s not even that cute), dont bother. It means he is a cheapskate who only wants to buy you a cup of coffee to see if he has any chance of banging you.
He intentionally wants to keep things casual so you two wont get too serious.
(What? You want to be molly-coddled? Wrong place, honey.)
The guy cant even commit to a proper dinner date. What makes you think he can commit to a relationship? #fuckyourcoffee
(A little caveat: Just because a man takes you to a nice fancy dinner and is very generous, does NOT necessarily mean he is serious about you. He could also be just trying to bang you, just that he’s got deeper pockets. Sorry.)
Btw, there is no such thing as “going Dutch” on dates. Okay? What is this nonsense and who started it?
The phrase was coined as an insult to the Dutch for being CHEAP.
If a man asks you out and expects you to pay or “go Dutch”, pay for your share and dont go out with him again.
This has absolutely nothing to do with money.
How he treats you, shows you how much he cares about you. A man who wants to “go Dutch” is NOT a gentleman and he cant be that into you.
Please dont get me wrong. I am not saying never ever reciprocate. But reciprocation can come much later, AFTER he’s already won your heart. And it doesnt always involve splitting the bill into half.
Only colleagues and acquaintances split the check. Heck, I dont even spilt the bill with my closer friends- sometimes I pay, sometimes they pay, who cares its just food!??
If a man asks you out, he shouldnt expect you to pay. Just like how I wouldnt expect my guests to chip in money for the food if I invite them to my house for dinner. This is only basic courtesy and I am appalled that people are actually debating over who should pay for dates.
Personally, I never offer to pay UNLESS I am not sure how I feel about the guy and Im kinda on the fence. If I offer to share the bill, and the guy happily accepts, then he has unknowingly failed the test and will never get a second date. :)
If this makes me a “gold digger”, so be it lah. You think I cant buy my own dinner? Lol.
I dont have a long list of criteria, but I expect to date a man who knows how to be a gentleman. Its really not that difficult.
Dont waste your precious time with fuck/ lame/ cheap boys. Our time is literally more valuable than men. Infinitely more valuable. They can knock women up till they’re 85 and taking their last breath, while your eggs are rotting away.
He has tons of girls in his Facebook/ Instagram, and they are all models, stewardesses, etc.
And he’s constantly liking/ commenting on their photos. (With emojis! Wow!)
Dude is a player.
His hobby is skirt-chasing. He will never be happy with whatever you have to offer (even if you can have sex 24/7 and you’re tight as a virgin), because the best girl is the next girl. And the next. Andddd the next. Some men will never be satisfied with just one woman and nothing will change that.
Unless….you are secretly a masochist and enjoy vying for his attention among all the hoes, then go for it.
He is extremely suave, is a smooth talker and knows all the right things to say.
This guy is a PRO.
He’s done this a million times, hence he is not nervous at all. If a guy is really into you, and isnt a player, he is going to be quite nervous.
Ive met a guy whose hands trembled throughout our date at TWG. (I seriously thought he had some kind of neurological disease.) Another one was so nervous he had gastritis and was trying not to throw up. Couldnt even take a tiny bite of the food I ordered.
Holy crap. I had no idea I was that intimidating.
He is very touchy.
This, I have a big problem with.
I am not a prude. I have attended business functions & friendly gatherings where some guys (whom I do not know) somehow feel they can use photo-taking opportunities to place their sweaty paws on my shoulder or even my waist.
(I took an antibacterial wet wipe and wiped my shoulder after that. I dont know what he touched before he touched me- filthy door knobs, his penis, his butt hole, some chick’s vagina….??!)
If I am not your girl, dont fucking touch me. You may not rest your hand on ANY part of my body. What am I, a come-grope-me statue??
A man who gets very touchy with you right from the start is testing the boundaries, and trying his luck. If you’re okay with him touching your shoulders or waist, then maybe he might start moving his hand further down to stroke your ass or even “accidentally” brushing against your breasts. #FUCKOFF
Someone who respects you will not touch you, especially when you barely know each other.
The key word here is respect.
I’ve gone out on dates with some dudes who expect to take me home/ come up to my place after just ONE dinner, because they somehow feel entitled to a little something something after buying me food.
Do I even need to elaborate on how disgusting this is?
How about I buy YOU dinner and you come scrub my kitchen and bathroom for 2 hours, asswipe.
Men who expect sexual favors in return for buying girls dinner, are very likely to be men who go to prostitutes. Where else would they get this kind of mindset from???
Well, its now 3.16am and I cant sleep, I slept all day thanks to this flu/ cold thing Im having. Bleh. I’ll add on more if I think of more!