Love thyself

I bought myself a ring today. Been eyeing it for a while. People who know me will know that I don’t care much for jewelry and I hardly wear any.

This ring is very special to me.

Because it symbolizes a commitment and love to MYSELF. It’s a promise to myself that regardless of whatever happens in my life, I will eat well, I will sleep well, I will pamper myself, I will treat myself like a goddamned QUEEN.

In 2009, I starved myself for two weeks because my boyfriend left me. I ended up in TTSH A&E because I had passed out at home & my room mate found me on the floor.

Dumbest shit I’ve ever done in my life. The fucker probably never even missed one single meal.

I starved myself for two weeks, lost 6 kg and my boobs. AND FOR WHAT??

I can’t blame him though. On hindsight, all that crap wouldn’t have happened if I had only loved myself. I wouldn’t have tolerated all his shite. The lame excuses, the weird inconsistencies, the inability to commit & acknowledge our relationship. (Couldn’t even add me on Facebook because he “wasn’t ready”). Hilarious!

A whole year after he dumped me, I found out he was in fact married. 

(He had a picture in his Friendster where he was wearing a suit and a boutonniere. He told me it was his sister’s wedding. It wasn’t. It was his wedding. He cropped out his wife. Lovely.) 

He typed a confession letter and shoved it under my door. I came home one night and read the contents out loud to my then best friend, laughing hysterically & crying at the same time. Didn’t even know that was physically possible. I will never forget how I felt that night, for as long as I live.

Why practise shite like MMA, grapple men stronger & bigger than you, when you don’t even have fucking balls to apologize to a girl whose youth & prime years you shamelessly cheated?

I want to share my story in the hopes that some poor girl out there who may find herself in the same plight as I was- will dry her tears, stand up straight, hold her head up and realize that she DOES NOT need a man to love her.

Because she is fully capable of loving herself. 

There is something called law of attraction. When you genuinely love and respect yourself, you’ll attract love & respect from others.

If a man knows he cannot get away with mistreating you in the slightest bit, he will by default treat you well.

If he knows you will leave the moment you’re unhappy, he will go out of his way to make you happy. And if he doesnt care about your happiness, it means he doesnt love you at all, so why waste another second of your precious time with him??

I already have a beautiful shiny ring on my finger. I honestly dont care if I am single for the rest of my life. Single and happy beats married and miserable anyday. I will buy my own HDB flat, get a dog (or 5) and live happily ever after. 



I am not a man hater. There ARE some good men around. But I have to say this- MOST men out there are fuckers lah okay? Literally fuckers, because they just want to fuck.

I’m 33 and I’ve dated enough to know *most* men are just trying to get laid. This is the cold hard truth.

I’ve tried various dating platforms like Lunch Actually,, and apps like Tinder (the worst!) and Coffee Meets Bagel.

I went for one mingling event organized by Lunch Actually. 20 guys and 20 girls. I was there early, and there was this one dude who started chatting me up. About half an hour later, more girls started coming in and there was this pretty lady. He immediately changed his target and went to talk to her for the rest of the evening and completely ignored me. Some weeks later, he texted me out of the blue and asked me out. LOL. Funny guy. He didnt succeed in bonking Hot Girl, so he decided to go for Option B.

The one thing I can never understand about men is they are ALWAYS so fucking obvious with their intentions and yet they think we cannot tell…!!

Well, I did meet up with him just for entertainment. Douche showed up > half an hour late, wearing a ratty old T shirt and jeans, and looking like he needed a shower. He told me he’s still single in his mid 40s because he “has no time” to date anyone seriously. Erm, I think its more like you’re a shallow and CMI piece of shite. He wants to date only pretty hot girls but he cant even take a shower and put on a decent shirt for a first date. Good luck eh buddy.

Out of the twenty men, there was only one who seemed genuinely interested in me. This horribly unattractive, pimply, nerdy looking dude, who could barely even string a sentence together. 

He even called up the organizers to ask me for my contact number. He also happened to be “in between jobs”. Isn’t that a nice way of saying “unemployed”?? 

Unattractive, lack of personality, lack of intellect and NO JOB? No thanks! 

That was the first and last event I attended because I felt so stupid PAYING MONEY to meet men of questionable quality. Seriously waste of my time and money wtf.

For and dating apps, I spent quite a bit of time & effort in my profile, trying to sound intelligent, fun and witty without trying too hard. And yet these men dont even bother to read my profile, because when we do meet up in person, I realize that they dont know a single thing about me.

Do you know how frustrating it is when you’re putting yourself out there, trying to meet someone decent for a committed relationship, and then you realize that so many men are only looking for SEX?

I went out with this guy from CoffeeBagel, and he kept trying to get me to go to his apartment. He chose the venue, a bar in town. Barely two hours into the “date”, he suggested we adjoin to his place for wine.

“My place is just round the corner…”

So??? Why cant we have drinks here? You chose the place, no?

When I turned him down, he told me he was going away to HK the next day for a week. (Uh huh, so??) I insisted on going home because I had a headache. The next day, he texts me that his travel plans have changed and wanted to invite me to his place for dinner, that he would get some groceries and cook dinner for us. Aww how sweet. I turned him down, saying that I cant make it. Few days later, again he tried to get me to go to his place. Finally I lost my patience, told him off and blocked him on Whatsapp. I told him that if he’s that hard up for sex, he should use Tinder.

There was this guy who approached me in the mall and wanted “to be friends”. After only one dinner, he asked to come up to my place because he “wanted to see how my house looks like”. What, you’ve never seen an apartment before??

I said no and he never texted me again. Lol. (Nice try, buddy.)

Singaporean men love to complain about how materialistic, high maintenance and money-minded Singaporean women are. Before you question the integrity of women, maybe ask yourself honestly if your intentions are that pure & innocent? 

If you’re only looking for sex, why should women only want love from you? 

Unfortunately for the men, we happen to be smarter and much more discerning than some of our Asian counterparts. We live in Singapore. Love aint gonna pay any of our bills. If you want a submissive and meek wife who doesnt want anything from you except your undying love and hard dick, go get a Vietnamese wife. If you pay extra, you can even get a certified virgin! ;)

The best way to discern and tell if a man is genuinely sincere about you, is to withhold the sex. He should not be allowed access into your pants for at least 3-4 months. If he sticks around & is CONSISTENT in his efforts, he’s likely sincere. 

Because men who really like you, they are happy just to spend time with you, without doing anything sexual. 

This is how we have to take care of ourselves. Because too many men are selfish bastards who only care about their own interests. 

How many of you out there have encountered men who complain about using condoms and claim they cannot get it up & can’t come when they wear one? For that tiny extra bit of pleasure on his part, he’s asking YOU to risk unwanted pregnancy and abortion. But why would he care?? He wants to cum inside, more shiok! 
I know of many girls who have gotten themselves knocked up and had to go for abortions because the guy did not want to marry them. (How surprising.) 

Don’t be that stupid girl sitting alone in the gynae’s office waiting to have the doctor scrape a fetus out of your womb because you thought he loved you. 

Love thyself.  



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